We renovated our house 3 years ago and the yard was completely dug up.  So we spent the bank’s money on landscaping.  I also had a baby that year so in the summers since have done only the minimal gardening I could get away with. 

This is the first summer that I’ve been really energized about it and Angus is old enough to hang out with me in the yard.  Sure that means trampling the plants and rolling around in the dirt, but at least he’s not running out into traffic.  I was teaching him to weed yesterday and thought about all the useful life skills I’ve learned from gardening.

Go with the flow – my Mom had gorgeous huge fragrant peony bushes when I grew up and I always wanted at least one in my own yard.  I got a little one years ago.  I fertilized it, watered it, even dug it up and replanted to make sure it wasn’t in too deep.  Nothing.   It got mowed under when we renovated and I thought “good riddance”.  Two summers ago a renegade peony appeared in one of my garden beds.  It’s probably the original one that was mowed under.  So I left it to see what was going to happen.  It’s under a tree not getting enough light, I haven’t fed or watered it -  but wouldn’t you know, it’s got 5 buds on it.  I finally broke down and put a tomato ring around it in case I actually get flowers.  All my obsessing in the past achieved nothing.  Sometimes you just have to let things take their course. 

Be Fierce Or Not – My mother-in-law is a serious gardener.  And her garden is gorgeous.  But I learned from her how to be fierce.  She’ll put in a plant, take care of it, and if she’s not crazy about it, out it comes.  Even if she’s got miles of it – out it comes.  I’ve been guilty of doing the hang-wringing and being unhappy and undecided when something doesn’t turn out the way I planned.  I’m trying to get better at being fierce, or not. Let ‘er grow, or rip it the heck out.

A better idea of control – I have satan weed in my yard.  It’s officially called “bishops weed” but my name fits better.  It is *evil*.  It spreads underground, it’s the first to start in the spring and you can’t kill it even with the most evil poisons that I would never admit to using.  Let’s just say if I had a dollar for every hour I’ve spent pulling it up……  But I have discovered that if I go out after it’s rained, dig down and go after the roots, I can control it.  But only control it.  Not get rid of it.  Trust me that’s never going to happen.  But for me, right now, that’s enough.

Have Patience – I picked up a gardening magazine once and there was an amazing rose and clematis with huge blooms mounding over an arbour thingy.  The article mentioned that they’d been growing there for 10 years.  I appreciated the honesty.  These things take time.  In a good location, a clematis takes 3 years to dig in and start growing like a weed.  So you need to find a good spot, plant it, feed it and let ‘er grow.  You can’t force it, you can’t will it to happen.  Just get on with life.  And other parts of the garden.

Improvement not perfection – I’ve gotten better at understanding that my garden will probably never be perfect.  In fact, it’s a gardener’s downfall to always see the weeds when others see the great plants.  But I’m finally understanding –  i’m only improving, not perfecting.