Tue 29 Jul 2008
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
Rumi
August 11th, 2008 at 12:41 am
I often wake up “empty and frightened”. It’s not great – wouldn’t ever wish it on anyone, it’s awful actually. So when I wake in the wee hours of the morning 3am…4:30am…5am…6am…etc. I lay there talking myself into going back to sleep. My body/mind has other ideas. So I read (not in the den but just lean over & pick up a book from the pile next to my bed (bad feng shui)and I do crossword puzzles. Or I lay awake ruminating about all the shit that is bound to happen in the day to come and before I know it I’ve fallen into a fitfull sleep at 6:45 and the alarm goes off 15min’s later. Agony! All the while I go through this ritual of trying to go back to sleep my mind is kicking me in the ass, telling me to get out of bed. So last week, predictably at 5am I’m wide awake…argh! I decided to take the ass-kicking & I hopped out of bed and decided to strip wall-paper border down in my upstairs bath because it was holding up the painting I was having done in my house. I felt really nutty but exhilerated. I should go with my gut more often cause I’d accomplished something I’d been procrastinating about for 2yrs in 1hr. I’m realizing (at the ripe old age of 40 something) that my day doesn’t have to start only because I have to be at work at a certain time. Maybe I’ll pick up a musical instrument once my house reno is done