I was talking to a woman who has grown kids and she had a bunch of them and their friends over for dinner one night.  Her son is a serious introvert and she being an extrovert sometimes, ok all the time, has a problem understanding it. 

She tells me how he spent most of the dinner quiet and she knew he was ok being there and was taking it all in but, “you know, he didn’t really say anything”.  The undertone was a *bit* like he had leprosy and dropped a finger into the gravy.

And I wanted to say – maybe he didn’t say much because everyone else in the room was talking nonstop.  But she was talking non-stop so I really couldn’t fit that in.  And then I wanted to remind her that it’s really ok to be introverted, but by the time that thought gelled she was a topic or two past the dinner and there was no point.

It’s funny cause I’m not hardcore introverted so I sometimes forget.  If I’m comfortable with a group I can dredge up an amusing story to tell and feel comfortable telling it.  But get me in a room full of strangers and it’s like – right!  I *am* introverted!  I suddenly feel like Neo in the Matrix movie where his lips get stitched together.  Only he’s fighting it and I’m not. 

I’m trolling for someone I can chat with one-on-one.  We introverts love the one-on-one ;-)   And I’ll tell you a secret – when introverts tell you something?  It’s probably not a cute story we’ve told to 50 people before you – it’s just for you.

I stayed with an extroverted friend once and had to explain to her that I just can’t do a day-long conversations.  I’m an introvert, at some point I’ll explode if I don’t take some space for myself.  Sometimes extroverts don’t get that.  

Extroverts get energy from other people.  Introverts get the life sucked out of them by other people.  Extroverts need to talk stuff through to understand it.  I only understand stuff by thinking about it.  *Then* I have the words to talk about it.  When extroverts don’t get it and see you take some space for yourself they think you lost all your social skills or that you hate them.  But take this from me. We don’t hate you.  We’re just getting our thoughts together.  And trying not to explode.