This morning my son and I were motoring down a two-lane road that cut down to one lane for construction.  I was in the through lane and when I saw the first merge sign I left some space for the black Civic beside me to make his way in.  He didn’t, so I moved forward and daydreamed and continued inching along.  At the last minute before his lane disappeared he floored it and swerved toward my front bumper.  I slammed on my brakes and he cut me off.

Wow.  I’ve lived in some cities with some pretty impatient angry drivers but I’ve never seen an agressive move quite like that.   I was stunned and shaken.

How bad a day could you possibly be having before 9:00 a.m. to be an Angry Young Man like that? 

And I actually had the presence of mind to watch and think about my reactions.  So at first I felt shitty and then I thought no, I don’t need to do this, and pushed the shitty back on him.  It’s his.  He’s rolling in it.  Or he’s soaking in it, as the old Palmolive commercial used to say.  That sure doesn’t mean I have to.

I don’t want to speed up and slam on my breaks beside him and holler and give him the finger.  I don’t need to make my day lousy too.  I don’t need the high blood pressure. 

And I’m not going to regret not giving him a written invitation to come into my lane, because if he wants to be a jerk, he’d find *some* reason. 

I fantasized for a moment that if I hadn’t had any caffeine that a.m. I wouldn’t have had the reflexes to brake and he would have hit me and I could have waddled out of the truck with my pregnant belly.  Ha!  But a jerk like that would find a way to see it as my fault regardless of scaring the crap out my son and I.  I can’t control his actions.

So when I stopped feeling shitty I decided to try to do the “evolved” thing.  I thought, I’m going to send him love.  Not the gushy fluffy pink bunny love that I feel for my kid when he has an adorable moment but a wall of fierce protective love. 

Like, Angry Young Man?  Your rage can’t touch me or my family.  And dammit, I’m going to wish you the best and hope your day improves really soon.  I’m going to send you good vibes and thoughts and whatever else I can think of.  Maybe one day you’ll see there’s enough room on the road for all of us.  And if you don’t, that’s ok too.

And as soon as I did that I felt completely calm.