At the end of the calendar year I get so many requests for money from charitable organizations.  And normally I’m pretty good about writing cheques, but this year, because I’ve been on maternity leave for half of it, I, without thinking, was in the mode of “no, sorry, I don’t have enough”. 

And then two things happened.  I read the Yoga Journal article on giving where Snatam Kaur Khalsa, the chanting chick who has a bunch of CDs out,  says she gives 10% of her income.  I always wonder, is that before or after tax?  Anyhoo she does it to keep the flow going in her life.  When she gives back, she allows more good stuff to come into her life. 

The other thing that happened is that I got an email from UNICEF.  And someone had pledged to match donations until the end of the year.  The email listed the good things that amounts as low as 30 cents can do for poor hungry kids around the globe.  And all donations were going to be doubled by this generous person.  And I was like, Corilee, wake up!

It’s scary to see how easily I can forget about my values.  Because I also believe that by giving I’m allowing good things to flow back.  And I thought I knew that it didn’t need to be *alot*.  Instead I was being all-or-nothing - like I have *nothing* to give because money is “tight”.  I fell so easily into scarcity thinking.  I so easily made the assumption that just because my income isn’t what it usually is that I need to hoard or my kids will look like the ones in the UNICEF email.  Which of course is crap. 

What, are we living in a motel and I didn’t notice?  There are people so much worse off. I happen to still have some savings, I know I’ll be back to my regular income soon enough, so what am I whining about?  And if I do run short,  that’s why God made lines of credit.  We are so OK.

But it is easier to have an abundance philosophy when money is not tight.  It takes a lot more courage and faith when it is. 

So I wrote some cheques and did the online giving for UNICEF and felt good.  Then I figured out what percentage of my income I’d given and felt lousy again.  Then I read about a 19 year old here in Halifax who is gathering up shoes to take to a town in Zambia this coming summer.  So I’m going to involve my son and go through our closets and provide a pile of shoes for a town in Zambia.  I wonder if we can send crocs or if they’ll send them back to us with a note that says, “no thanks” on them :-)  It hasn’t ocurred to Angus that some people in the world don’t have shoes. 

SoI’ve done something and I want to do more, but the most important thing I’ll work on is reminding myself that there is enough and I can safely give back and look forward to seeing good things continue to happen in my life.