My friend is in the midst of making a decision about moving to another place.  And I’ve been watching my own reactions to it, pretty entertaining stuff.  Because of course I’d miss her like hell but I’ve also been reacting to it from the belief that there’s a right way to make the decision.  Thinking, here are all the ducks that *should* be a row before a decision like that is made.  It’s like I believe there’s a perfect way to make a big decision.  What a load of horse puckies. 

And it’s funny because I’m one to talk, I’ve moved cities on a flyer.  Before I came to Halifax I’d visited all of once.  And look how that turned out?  Still here, still lovin’ it - but I want to continue loving it with my friend.  So I realize I’m being over-protective which is cute and annoying, especially for her I’m sure.  It’s also making me examine this knee-jerk response about there being a “right” and “perfect” way to do anything. 

I’m reading an odd book called the Disappearance of the Universe and came across this:

Do not feel bad when you temporarily lose your way….The myth of living a perfect life in terms of behavior is self-defeating and unnecessary.  All that is necessary is to be willing to receive correction….The jet airliner is always going off course, but through constant correction it arrives at its destination.  So will you arrive at your destination.  It’s a done deal; you couldn’t screw it up if you tried.  The real question is, how long do you want to prolong your suffering?

It’s true, there are so many choices we make every day.  You make a choice and then another one.  There is plenty of opportunity to adjust.  And adjust.  And adjust.  And sometimes making what appears to be a “wrong” choice can turn out well in the long run. 

I moved to Halifax to continue a relationship with a guy and then bailed after a year of living here.  I felt completely unmoored.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t want to move anywhere else but hadn’t been here long enough to feel at home.  Moving here didn’t feel entirely wrong - I loved being near the water, I had a funky downtown apartment,  a decent job and the start of some good friendships.  But I felt so unsettled that it didn’t feel entirely right either. 

But over time it changed.  This is where I met HoneyBunny and I wouldn’t have met him if I lived anywhere else because he’s not going to leave.  He knows a good spot when he finds it.  So are there really any ”bad” decisions?  Or decisions that just haven’t played out yet.  Or decisions we haven’t learned a lesson about yet. 

I should have learned from my move here that sometimes decisions are neither right or wrong, they can feel both and you just have to let them run their course.  I’m getting to learn that one all over again.  Which seems to be how the best lessons come to me - repeatedly.   So I’ll stop being so protective of my friend, keep my mouth shut, be supportive and tell her how much I’ll miss her any chance I get.