We did a family visit to the Shubenacadie Wildlife Park.  It was our first time, it’s a great little zoo, all rescued local wild animals that look well taken care of.  Afterwards  we had a picnic near the playground and then I laid on a blanket soaking up the sun.

I could hear a parent coaching his son at soccer.  It went like this:

Clayton don’t use your hands!

Clayton no hands on the ball! 

Clayton don’t touch the ball!

CLAYTON IF YOU TOUCH THE BALL ONE MORE TIME WE’RE NEVER PLAYING SOCCER AGAIN!!

I was laying there thinking, hmmm, maybe Clayton is 10 and they’ve been playing soccer together for 5 years and one would expect him to know better.  Curiosity finally got the best of me and I got up to look.  It turned out Clayton was a scrawny little 4 year old in a floppy sunhat.

What is it with these Type A parents?  Maybe Clayton’s Dad could have taken more of a “show me what you can do with your feet!” kind of approach.  Rather than losing it with him.  Over soccer.

And my son’s a five year old in soccer, I see it all the time.  There is a wide range of kids and knowledge and ability and interest. 

There are the ones who want to examine the grass or the cloud formations instead of running after the ball.  There are the little keener dudes who are right in there.  And some of the keeners do great and there are others who get hurt at least twice a game and take a cry break.  My son is more of a run around near the ball having a great time, but not actually pushing himself in there to kick it.  You can read a lot about a kid’s personality by watching them in soccer.

And the parents are either enjoying the soccer playing kid they have or trying hard to make him different.  Like Clayton’s Dad.

It’s been a theme for me lately.  I’ve been letting go so much with parenting.  Angus, the five year old is at the stage where he wants to question everything and push every boundary.  The other night, just a silly example, he was heading to the bathroom before bed and wanted to wear my flip flops.  I immediately said no, they were my shoes and then he reacted and then I thought – Corilee!  give him the freakin’ shoes!  Give him all your shoes!!  Empty out the closet!  Why not?  Especially if it’ll get him to bed. 

I always thought I’d be an easy going parent with the nutty things kids want to do (wear mitts to school in May etc.).  But my first response usually relates to the reasons why not.   When really, if it doesn’t hurt him or destroy my shoes or his mitts, why not? 

I want to be the kind of parent that lets the Claytons of the world figure out how to play soccer with their feet in their own time.  I want to be the parent that doesn’t demand it has to be today.  I want to be the parent who can keep cool even when I feel like they *should* know how to do it different.  I want to be the kind of parent who gives up her shoes without thinking about it.