I was doing really well.  I was taking the cup half full approach.  I was focused on enjoying my body instead of trying to change it.  My goal was to do something exercise related everyday.  It didn’t have to be a run or an hour of power yoga, it could be 20 minutes of yoga or some push-ups and sit-ups, but something. 

And it didn’t matter what I felt I *should* do, I was going to do exactly what I *felt* like doing.  I’d ponder my energy levels, decide whether i wanted to be outside or in, and then pick something that felt good.  It was working great and then I crashed.

I try to get on the scale only when I know it’s going to be a good story.   Why aske to be bummed out right?  Sometimes I ignore it for a long time and then I’ll look in the mirror and say, hey something good is happening here and I’ll consider The Scale. 

The other morning I thought, things have been going to so well that the scale has *got* to have a good news story for me.  So I got on and I was up a pound.  I was majorly pissed off.  I’ve been doing lots of good stuff on the eating front, exercising daily, you gotta be kidding me! 

And bang, i felt myself fall off the wagon right on my ass.  (big sigh)  I went into who-cares, nothing- makes-a-difference-anyways, i’m-probably-stuck-with-this-extra-weight-forever.  The whole BMW – bitching moaning whining bit.  I hate that.

All over a stupid pound.  It’s likely that i’m retaining water because it’s been hotter than Hades.  Or hormonal stuff is happening.  Or I’m just up a pound.  Whatever it is, it’s time to forgive myself and start again.

I’m not usually this all-or-nothing.  I can’t even completely do an “all”.  If I have ideas of doing a real spartan lifestyle thing it just makes me immediately want to eat a chocolate bar. 

I do detoxes twice yearly to keep myself on the straight and narrow but I’ve been known to sneak a glass of wine or a bit of cream in my coffee on those too.  I’m just convinced that too much asceticism isn’t good for the soul.  Or at least my soul.

I have a friend who’s very all or nothing.   She talked to me about how she completely gets on the wagon whole hog, loses a bunch of weight and the first thing that happens, the first slip and bang she’s off the wagon flat on her ass.  And promptly gains all the weight back.

I asked her what would happen if she didn’t climb completely on the wagon. If she did only one eating related thing and one exercise related thing. 

Easy stuff, like the 20 minute loop around the block twice a week.  Heck she could do that  in her sleep.  And lifestyle stuff.  The things she wants to do as consistently as possible for the rest of her life.  Not the crazy things we might be willing to do to fit into the too-small LBD we bought.

So she tried it.  She stopped her coke drinking and lost 6 pounds.  She tried some yoga and pilates DVDs to find ones she likes because those are easy to fit into her life.  And she’s using them to enjoy her body and not just change it.

So I’m going to do it too.  Tomorrow I’m going to start again.  Enjoy the fruits and veggies I got from the farmers market yesterday.  Ignore the cookies that I made during the hurricane before the power went out.  Do some exercise, anything that might be fun, anything that might help me enjoy my body and get my focus off that one lousy pound.