I’m having a hard time with the winter blahs. When they hit it’s pretty dark inside and out. I have no motivation. I’m just stuck and cranky. And on the weekends if I don’t plan ahead I get bored on top of it - too cranky to do anything, then cranky at myself for not doing anything.

Exercise helps alot, it seems to chase away the bad stuff and then yoga smooths out the rough edges. I’ve been trying to run outside but it hasn’t been regular. The weather has been mild but I feel too crappy to get out there. I don’t want to go outside Mom - it’s yucky and dark - that’s the whole point!

Yesterday I got out for a run at lunchtime. It was a degree above freezing, I put the iPod on shuffle and went for my usual run on Shore Road, a hilly residential road with some views of the water. I was feeling so low. Really begging the Universe to help me find just a scrap of OK while I ran.

Just as I got to the turnaround point a little patch of sun opened up between the clouds. I couldn’t believe it - how long has it been? I ran back and the clouds opened up even more - it was actually bright and sunny for a few minutes even though the forecast said it should be socked in and snowing.

I started feeling more hopeful and challenged the Universe a little more. Give me a song, play me something meaningful, something I need to hear. The first one was a Beck tune that is totally goofy and retro. It’s a get-on-your-gogo-boots-and-shake-your-booty song. I get it - lighten up, find the fun, don’t expect it to find you.

And the second tune is a current fave - Roots with Erikah Badhu called ‘You Got Me’. It has a great soulful groove and it’s all about trust. It’s about two people who get into a relationship and one is touring and they have to trust that they’re being true to each other even though they feel distant and disconnected.

Thank you. I get it. I need to trust that the winter will pass, the darkness will slowly be dissolved by the light, and I will smile in the sun again. Until then I’ll try to practice.