I’m on the Wild Rose D-Tox program again. I used to do it regularly but it’s my first time in 3 years so it kinda feels like the first time. It comes with a pretty restrictive food menu. You stop eating all the bad or potentially bad stuff for the 12 days you’re on it. But I like it, it’s a good detox because of the food program. It makes me feel like a million bucks so I can only imagine what it’s doing to my insides. It makes me aware of all the eating and drinking habits I have that I really should consider ditching or at least keeping in check. But it’s tough because I can’t just easily do hippie food you know? I’m too much of a foodie to think that brown rice and tofu for almost 2 weeks is any fun.

It seems like at some point at the beginning of the program when I’m still feeling sluggish and surly I have the epiphany that I CAN’T EAT ANYING ON THIS STUPID PROGRAM and I’m convinced the 12 days are going to feel like 12 months. But the sluggish feeling passes and once my head clears in 2-3 days of it I can get creative about the food thing. To save you some of the same angst, here are a few things that have worked for me:

- Plan and Commiserate - If you can find a friend to do the program with, the support is amazing. Others in your life may not want to hear about your bowel movements, but someone else who’s on the program will actually find this interesting because they’re dying to discuss their own too. Also plan what you’re going to eat and face facts - you’re going to need to do some cooking. Having options on hand will keep the donuts from calling to you by name.
- Breakfast - I like hot cereal but when oatmeal resembels Lepages glue more than something edible it’s tough. Large flake oats help. Also Bob’s Red Mill has a non-wheat multigrain cereal that’s a great alternative. I throw in some chopped up dried plums (I don’t call them prunes, that’s gross) or chopped fresh fruit and a sprinkle of cinammon. Fill over the level of the mixture with hot water, nuke for a minute. Stir and add more water so it’s a little more watery than what you’ll want and nuke again for 30-60 seconds. Let it sit for a bit to cool and then dig in.
- Plan snacks - if you spend your workday away from your own fridge you need snacks. Rice cakes and almond butter seem to the faves. I also found some Scottish oat cakes that are made from just oats and a little oil, they’re yummy with nut butter. Rice crackers also work as a nut butter delivery system. I also found apple butter that is made from just apples, I dunno if this is technically too sugary because it’s so reduced, but I’ve had a swipe when i’ve really wanted something sweet. A bag of almonds, fresh fruit, containers of natural apple sauce with cinnamon sprinkles are all handy when your healthy lunch didn’t stick to your ribs the way MacDonalds does. My favourite evening snack if I’m still hungry is a bag of natural microwave popcorn, drizzled with butter that’s been melted with a squeezed garlic clove and a pinch of celtic sea salt in it.
- Check the health food section - I found that organic or healthy brand soups and broths often don’t have all the yeast, sugar etc. of regular stuff and so they fit into the food program. It’s nice to be able to tuck into some veggie chili when you’re hungry and need something quick. It’s also handy to have some broth to add to your brown rice or stirfry for extra flavour. Lentil soup can be a good one here too - consider add-ons like veggies, extra cumin or curry.
- Oven Timer - If you work all day and have an oven that will come on at a pre-set time make use of it! Make bake potatoes that you can top with butter and green onions or roast a bunch of veggies like sweet potatoes, carrots and beets with salt, pepper and a coating of oil. It makes them really sweet - make lots for leftovers the next day.
- Pasta Jones? - if you really miss noodley things, consider rice noodles, like the Rice Stick packages in the Asian section of the grocery store. They’re made from white rice so it’s a 20% category food, but with lotsa veggies in a stirfry they’re a good change from brown rice monotony. Consider making a stirfry ’sauce’ with almond butter, broth and lemon juice. It’s not a gooey peanut sauce, but it ain’t naked either.
- Spark up the Barby - as my Aussie sis-in-law would say. OK you’ll need to forgo the bbq sauce, but fish slow simmered in foil with butter and chives? Sweet potatoes in foil with butter? (Notice a pattern on the butter thing? Yeah, I’m happy that’s on the menu). Also, fresh beets? New baby carrots? Those little purple potatoes? Who says detoxing is hell, I’m in food heaven!
- Herbal Teas - if you don’t drink these normally stock up on good quality teas in fun flavours. There aren’t alot of drink options on this diet, so you’ll be happy to have something warm to sip on a cool a.m. or long evening.
- Consider buying the Wild Rose cookbook - it’s not expensive ($13 CDN) and it has additional info about the detox itself. Going through the recipes made me go - oh yeah, i guess I can eat that. For example, classic Cesear salad dressing with anchovies and all? Wouldn’t have occured to me.

Hope this helps you get through your 12 days of fun. While eating monotonous hippie food for 2 weeks may be an option, tastier options will be more likely to get folded into your regular eating when you finish the program. Then you can eat healthier long-term and your next detox will be even easier. Happy Cleansing!