So to follow-on from the quote I posted last, I did Myers-Brigg personality testing recently.  One of the areas they test is whether you’re more Feeling or Thinking.  Feeling means that you make your decisions based on subjective stuff and the people involved. 

Thinking people make decisions based on what goes on in the space between their ears.  They’re more logical, looking for reasons and the best reasoning.  In my testing I found that I’m pretty darn “thinky”.  And it’s true. If something looks logical and rational then that’s it, what else is there to look at?  And yes, that’s put me at odds with Feeling people who think other things should be considered, like their feelings for example.

So I’m pretty comfortable and secure with thinking my way through stuff.  And that means I’m hard-wired to look at other more subjective ways of orienting myself suspiciously.  Like let’s say, emotions.

And this, getting back to the quote, is where I’m weak.  Actually that sounds negative, let’s say, it’s my “uncharted territory”.  I used to numb-out with my emotions, and boy that’s sure a lousy way of dealing with them.  Or not dealing with them.

And then I progressed to the point of feeling them but mostly in a resisting, isn’t this over yet? Please?? Somebody??? kind of way.  But what I’ve discovered is that feelings need their time in the spotlight or else they just hang out in the wings doing their own Harold Pinter play while you’re trying to get a slapstick comedy going.  Once you give them their moment, let them say their lines, then they’re fine to do their dramatic death scene and get carried off stage. And you can get on with your life. Pretty logical right?

So I’ve been working hard to bring the “Witness self” that I use in my yoga practice to my emotions.  If I notice an emotion I try to name it, feel where it hangs out in my body and let it *be*.  No judgement, no resistance, no grand pronouncements or conclusions.  I try my best not to do anything or say anything I’ll regret.  Just let it hang out until it’s ready to morph into something else, or mosey on its way.  I’m no pro yet, but man, just making the attempt makes emotions much less wacky and scary.  I’m convinced that “this too shall pass” happens a lot sooner with this approach.  But maybe it just seems that way because I’m not freaking about it.

When it comes down to it, emotions are really just information and signposts.  They let you know you’re alive for starters and maybe some other useful information too.  And being the Witness or Observer with emotions helps you tune into other non-logical ways of knowing too.  Like your gut, or your intuition. 

So this has all fed back into my yoga practice.  I’ve been trying to think less in yoga.  I’ve been trying to give more space to my subjective experience and my emotions. I want to feel it.  Because that’s not generally how I roll. 

I went to a class last week and managed to turn off my brain (or at least shift it into low gear) and just do the poses and the breathing.  When we got into Savasana I felt this rush of emotion in my chest and I teared up.  And I let it be.  And it felt great.  Better out than in, right?  I felt so peaceful afterwards. It’s new terrritory.