Lovable Control Freaks like myself are better off if there’s something we can *do*.  Here are some ways I’ve learned to manage it for myself:

The Committed Version

1. Try every a.m. to sit in a private quiet spot.  Repeat to yourself stuff like “I let go of this” or “I release this” or whatever makes sense to you.  Sometimes I even make a gesture of pushing it away from me with my hands.  You feel like a dork, but the physical gesture, I find, helps to make it real.  Or do your favourite yoga breath and visualizing yourself exhaling “it” out.

2. Try to be clear that it’s our big fat ego that wants to hold onto stuff.   “This is Who I Am” or we’re attached to “Our Story” or we’ve decided this makes us look good.  Seeing this drama for what it is, is the best way to start giving it up.  You’re more than any story or drama your ego cooks up.  Look for a new, more authentic, story.

2. Let it go with compassion.  Our resistance usually takes the shape of anger or bitterness, or we feel we’ve been wronged etc.  Your mission is to get to the place where you can say “I let it go and wish this person all the best” or “I release this person and hope they find x and y”.  When you can get there and mean it, you’re finished your journey.

The Quickie

There’s a short version of this too.  Don’t you find that if something bugs you your mind keeps coming back to it?  Instead of allowing this crazy-making, notice it and interject every time with “nope, I’m letting go of this”.   You’ll probably have plenty of opportunity to find more creative comebacks for your thought.

The Effects

As you’re doing these techniques try to notice the effects.  Notice any changes in your body.  Do you feel a load-off the shoulders?  Is your belly any softer?  Holding less grudge in your heart?  Use indications like this to help keep you going. 

You’ll be an expert next time Life hands you something to let go of.