It takes a lot of good strong qualities to be more creative and self-expressive but the big one that hit me in the face recently is Courage.

I was doing some painting last weekend, just playing around, and I noticed that it was all coming out pretty pristine and controlled.  When really, the stuff I like is more along the lines of the “My Kid Could Paint That” images at the bottom of this post.  (Aside: I love the name of her blog, “A Beautiful Mess”.  That’s what I strive for). 

Look at the two at the bottom.  Amazing stuff right?  And it’s funny that I’m grooving on the art of a kid but that really fits because it IS my inner kidlet who should be driving the painting. 

But I remember how that all turned out for me.  In grade two we were coloring something and Mrs. Isenor came by my desk and said “Corilee! You’re drawing outside of the lines!”  She got shouty about it and everything.  She was pretty pissed.  And did the shame and humiliation ever drive THAT learning home for me.  Thanks Mrs. Isenor, you earned your pay that day.  So here I am a *number* of years later doing my darndest to unlearn that lesson.

I don’t want to draw inside the lines.  I want to upchuck my emotions in technicolor all over the page.  I’ve been playing with hot pinks lately, what do you think?  But it takes guts to be willing to see your guts.  Talk about playin’ your edge.  No arm balance was ever quite that scary for me.  What’s the fear of a smushed nose compared to, well, seeing your fear in all it’s glory on the paper?  Now that takes courage.