May 2007


So after a reiki session with Anne-my-hero, she always has me pick a card deck and choose a card from it.  This last time I chose Medicine Cards and pulled Frog.  I also pulled it in the reverse position – it’s all about being stuck in the mud and needing to clear stuff out. 

It was bang-on considering I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately.  Here’s what I got out of it and I’m going to write my resolutions here to commit myself to doing it:

Break your routine – The other evening, on a weekday, we’d had unseasonably warm weather and I’d been stuck in the office all day.  I went home to make dinner and all I wanted to do is go outside.  But there was this side of me thinking, no, we need to feed our kid,  it’s the official dinner hour, blah blah blah.  But I took him and went.  We walked.  We found a new trail.  We found a basketball someone had lost.  Angus was so excited about the ball he had to sleep with it that night (yeah a dirty ol’ basketball, so sue me).  We came home and ate a good dinner.  Civilization did not fall because we broke out of our schedule – it made life better. I want to more often embrace my inner barefoot yoga hippy with drapey skirts and a big fat nose ring.  Gimme more Wild Woman.  Good Girl be damned.

Find the energy drainers – Sometimes it’s people for me but it’s also stuff.  I can have a over-revved sense of responsibility of how things need to be, and the timeframe things need to happen in.  But I want to catch myself more. I want to get lots of practice saying “who freakin’ cares!”

Take time and space –  Repeat after me.  Time.  Space.  Not laundry. 

Settling someone else’s quarrel –  I get stuck with this one when I feel I need to fix things for others.  Or at least offer a great suggestion. Instead I want to be able to listen to others kvetch with a bemused expression and think, wow aren’t people so interesting!  Just be endlessly fascinated. Skip the *fixing*.  Why do I think anything needs to be fixed?  Aren’t we all where we need to be, doing what we need to be doing and learning what we need to learn?  That’s alot more interesting.

Angus and I were at a yard sale three weeks ago and found his new favourite book, Sheep in Jeep.  Now that we’ve read it a million times we’re liking this equanimous bunch of sheep who keep messing up.   The sheep get in their jeep and head down a hill that’s too steep.  And yup, you got it, they go thud in the mud.  So when they try to tug it out and that doesn’t work they just shrug.  And when we read that part Gussie says, “Nevah mind.”  He’s two and he gets it. 

Sometimes you’re best off saying “never mind” and going on to the next thing.  In this case the sheep yelp and get help.  They get the jeep out of the mud but in their joy they proceed to drive the jeep into a tree.  But again, it’s no biggie, they sweep the heap and (spoiler alert!) sell it cheap.  These dudes are ok with whatever happens.  Even though what happens is their own damn fault.  There’s no blame, they just get on with it.

This a.m. HoneyBunny was asking my advice on a conundrum he’s in.  He messed something up trying to fix it and he’s kicking himself a little for it.  So we talked through some options and we didn’t really find any.  So I finally said, ok bud, you gotta just do a sheep-shrug and say “never mind”.  He knows the sheep, he can recite the book too.  He nodded seriously and said, “yup, nevah mind.”

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and drained lately.  Like I cannot do one more thing.  So I booked an appointment with an Ayurvedic Lifestyle Consultant, Silver Frith.  Frith (it’s a chosen name and she says you can call her whichever) was one of my Yoga Teacher Training teachers and does this Ayurvedic stuff as well.  If she stared doing yoga in the 70’s she’s gotta be in her 50’s now but you’d never know it.  Her skin glows with dewey youthfulness.  She looks like she’s never consumed anything bad in her life, or at least since she started doing yoga. 

She asked me to first do a 5 day food diary.  

Doing a food diary is a great lesson in the power of awareness.  And accountability. There were a couple times I didn’t eat what I was about to grab because then I’d have to write it down and ‘come clean about it’. 

There was another time when I wrestled with the honesty about the second glass of wine that became a third.  Oops!  It dove into my hand!  And down my throat!  What’s a girl to do?

Anyhoo, the appointment was interesting, she said that a Kapha Vata (that’s me) is the toughest constitution to keep in balance.  She said that the overwhelmed/drained feeling is because I’m up to my eyeballs in Vata. 

She said – have you been doing any air travel? Yup, two trips in two weeks in April.  Any emotional issue stuff coming up recently?  Well, I visited my family on one of those trips, so that would be “yes”.  Eating alot of sweet food like bread and stuff?  Um, did I mention my family?  The family where your breakfast options are cinammon rolls, waffles, pancakes or muffins? Double-check.  So no wonder I’ve been feeling the way I have.  It turns out all those things are vata-city.

So she gave me a bunch of things to try like ginger tea, less caffeine and less sweet food.  Yes, sadly that includes wine which our bodies receive as sugar.  Frith threatened, or at least it sounded that way to me, that if I couldn’t improve things with these tweaks it might be time for a detox diet.  Ayurvedically speaking that means a mono-diet of Kitcheri – a rice, mung bean, veggie dish for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  No god please, not with bbq season starting. 

She also asked if I’ve noticed any peri-menopausal symptoms and I told her, thank god, no.  She said good, because you want to get out of the habit of forcing your energy with caffeine and sugar and learn to go with the energy you have. 

She said that abusing caffeine etc. is tough on your adrenals and adrenal fatigue often hits women right before menopause.  This is lousy timing because you need to be strong for menopause.  She said for my slow a.m. Kapha constitution I should be using active yoga and exercise to get myself moving – less Seattle’s Best Breakfast Blend. 

I was horrified at the idea of “going with my energy”, which just goes to show me that maybe I am a caffeine freak who lives on squeezing every last bit of energy out by Any Means Necessary. 

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hopefully the energy I learn to go with will be enough to get me back to regular blog postings.

 

An Australian Bearded Dragon lives in our house named Jim.  He’s over a foot long and hangs out in a big tank in our living room.  While I never thought I could have warm feelings toward a reptile, here we are, I love him.

Jim has a heat lamp on during the day to help him get warm and toasty and perky.  When it turns off at 7:00 p.m. he starts to cool off and he crashes for the night.  When Jim crashes, he is dead-to-the-world.  He probably couldn’t wake up if he tried.

Jim’s a veggie most days, but sometimes we get him a treat of live crickets.  Then he gets to be Wild Jim chasing them around his tank filling his belly with tasty insects. 

The other night we were heading to bed at 10 and heard an insect sound.  It’s been about a month since Jim’s had crickets, but isn’t there one by himself, singing, while Jim is nose-in-the-dirt asleep in the corner.

This wily little cricket has been hiding out in the branch where Jim lounges, during the day.  Then he sneaks out at night and sings his little heart out.  He probably snacks on Jim’s lettuce and carrots too. 

Every night he’s been at it. He’s lived another day.  And he’s thrilled to bits. 

Boy doesn’t that put things in perspective?

 Here’s another one:

“For happiness, how little suffices for happiness! …the least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard’s rustling, a breath, a wink, an eye glance – little maketh up the best happiness. Be still.” – Friedrich Nietzsche