June 2009


Ring the bells that still can ring. 

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

Conversation 1

Angus:  Mom your belly is so big

Me: Yup, it’s big and round and fulla baby

Angus: ha!  it’s big and round and fulla baby! (repeated 100 or more times)

Conversation 2

Me:  You’re weird

Honeybunny: Hey who’s weird,  you’re the one with a human living inside you.

Conversation 3

Angus to stranger putting a baby in a car: We’re having a baby too!  Only our baby is going to be a boy.  And he’s not going to have any teeth just like yours.

Conversation 4

Angus: What color will our baby be? 

Me: I dunno, what color do you think? 

Angus: Probably this color  (grabbing the skin on his forearm)

Conversation 5

Angus examining my stomach – Mom, how will the baby get out of your belly when there’s no door?

I took Angus to the dentist.  It started pretty good, in fact the hygenist was able to take xrays, which was a a first even though he complained about how uncomfortable the cardboard things were in his 4-year old mouth.  And who can blame him, they’re hard as rocks.

Then when she started scraping his teeth he got goofy, playing around, laughing hysterically at his own jokes, grabbing at her mask, grabbing at the sucky thing and yes…..biting her.

Picture her gloved finger between his teeth,  a maniacal look in his eyes and her patiently saying, “Angus let go, I *need* that finger”.  sigh…..

I was doing my best to run interference but there’s just no magic bullet when he’s in that kind of a mood.  He’s hardly even hearing me.

I think he was reacting to joy of the teeth scraping.  I’m not trying to justify here, just explain.  Getting your teeth and gumline scraped with a sharp pointy metal thing is, I dunno, about as much fun as a TRIP TO THE DENTIST.  

Even if you do get a new Cars toothbrush when you’re done.   And bubblegum flavoured sand ground into your teeth.  I hate the scraping too, it takes much yoga breathing to get through it myself.

Speaking of yoga breathing, there was this one time Angus was totally wound and Honeybunny and I  were trying to get him to take a deep inhale in, hold it for a bit and then let it go, to try to settle him down.  So first he exhales and holds it.  Then he figures out the inhale thing.  Does a great job taking in a deep breath, holds it, and then exhales and then immediately says, “Dad! Watch me throw this slipper at you!!” and biffs it directly at his head *and* makes contact.  I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh.  I guess breathing isn’t the magic bullet for him either.

Anyhoo,  the weird thing about the dentist visit is that I wasn’t mortified and hoping that the floor would open up and consume me.  I was like, yup my kid’s pretty crazy, the rest of the hygenist’s day is going to be a *breeze* compared to this. 

I also thought that if she wanted to bail at any time, I’d be ok with it.  We’d catch up in 6 months at the next visit.  But she was awesome, we got it all done right down to the little trays of flouride treatment.

Because the cool thing about kids at this age, it’s good design really, is that their mouth is full of practice teeth.   Sure we forget to brush sometimes, and lord knows how well he’s brushing his back teeth and he always tries to put a bucketful of toothpaste on his brush and probably eats at least half.  But who cares, by the time he’s a good little dental hygene soldier, he’ll have his real grown up teeth.  We’ve got time to get this right.

Someone told me that sodium flouride is an ingredient in rat poison, that it was fed to the prisoners in Nazi concentration camps to keep them docile and shouldn’t be used on humans.  Has anyone else heard this?  I finally found some non-flouride toothpaste for Angus, so that when he does use buckloads he won’t hurt himself.  Although I gotta say, a *little* bit more docile might be nice…..

So he didn’t sit still for the dentist hardly at all when she came at the end of the visit to look at his teeth.  And the dentist high-fived the hygenist for actually getting the xrays, she wasn’t sure how she pulled that off. 

And when I went to the front desk , the woman said, “how’d that go?”  and I said, “well we managed to get it all done” and she said, “I know, we heard”.  Ha!  I almost said – hey I can take my hygenist-biting child elsewhere you know!  But I didn’t.  I’m chill about it.  Besides it’s Angus’ dad’s turn to take him next time.

 

Tao te ching – True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.

Things go their own sweet way, whether you let them or not.  The rose blooms without your approval and dies without your consent.  Even though you haven’t issued directions, the streetcar rings its bell, the taxi stops to pick up a man in a grey suit.  The world runs perfectly.  It’s all done without you.  It’s all done for you, whether or not you interfere.  Even your interference is life living itself out through you.  Life continually offers forth its gifts and lives itself out in its own sweet way.  All you need to do is notice.  That’s true mastery.

Byron Katie